Adorable. Mysterious. Hilarious. Ridiculous. Cats are all of these things and many more besides. Some of their habits make us laugh, others may make us want to weep. But we wouldn’t be without them. And if you own a cat (does anyone ever really own a cat?) these truths will be only too relatable. The struggle is real.

The toy is never as fun as the box it came in.

“Hey, look. Look what we got for you. The brand new, state-of-the-art Feline Funhouse. It took hours to set up, and it’s got three running platforms, five sets of dangly things to paw at, four levels of hideaway space, a water dispenser, and even a – wait, where are you going? The Feline Funhouse is that way. No! What are you doing? Stop it. That’s just the b- oh… oh. well, great. Enjoy your new $200 box, then.”

You have to give up on your furniture – it’ll never be the same.

There really isn’t that much difference between a cat’s scratching post and that antique leather sofa your grandma left you, if you really stop to consider it. You’re being completely unreasonable if you think otherwise. After all, what’s an irreparably damaged furniture between interspecies friends?

You’ll find them in places and have absolutely no idea how they got there

From sitting atop the fridge to lurking inside the couch, the feline mastery of teleportation is utterly baffling. All it takes is a moment’s lapse in surveillance, and you’ll spend the next hour turning the house inside out in a desperate search for your cat’s whereabouts. Then you’ll give up, slump on the bed and bury your face in your hands, only to look up and see green eyes staring down from the ceiling fan. As we said. Baffling.

A tummy rub can take a violent turn at any second.

If it’s lying on its back, just leave it alone. Seriously, three seconds of belly-scratching simply isn’t worth the inevitable lacerations. Besides, it’s only in that position because it trusts you enough not to bother it. Why destroy years of goodwill for a few moments of fluffy delight? It’s only going to end with a trip to the medicine cabinet and the cat back up on the ceiling fan.

Sometimes they like to knock things over, just ‘cause.

Why. WHY. That glass of water sitting on the edge of the coffee table wasn’t hurting anyone! Neither was the pot plant on the windowsill… oh well. Guess they’re on the floor now. Thanks cat.

No food left out is safe

It doesn’t matter if it’s a slice of pizza or a fresh salad. If you leave it unguarded, it will be eaten. No wait, that’s not quite right. It will actually be sniffed, licked, pawed at and dumped on the floor, before all interest is lost and the cat wanders off looking smug. Where’s it going, we wonder? Nobody knows, but you’d better follow it. Some fresh kind of mischief is surely imminent.

You’ll never have a private moment again

Sleeping? Cat. Eating? Cat. Using the toilet? So much cat. As evident by their delightful grooming habits, privacy is not a concept that moggies give much credence to. In fact, the only way to ensure that they’ll leave you alone is to actively want to spend time with them. Then you’ll be promptly ignored.

They seem to be asleep whenever you want cuddles, but are somehow awake between 3 – 5am

While there may be no obvious rhyme or reason to cats’ sleeping habits, you can pretty much guarantee they won’t coincide with yours. Horrendously early wakeup calls are an unavoidable part of cat ownership, whether it’s you wanting a hug during naptime or them wanting food at four in the morning. You’ll both just have to learn to deal with it, we’re afraid.

And yet, despite all this, we still love them. So if you’re looking to adopt a new cat (or pick up a cool new cat toy box), why not take a trip down to your local pet shop?